How to find a wedding officiant - or how to make your friend a holy father

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Getting a wedding minister or an officiant

In the state of Washington, you can only be legally married by a judge / justice or a religious affiliate. The issue of finding someone to marry you is automatically resolved if:

  1. The ceremony/reception venue you selected provides a wedding officiant, or
  2. You are planning to get married in a church, or
  3. You are planning to get married in a courtroom on a weekday (courtrooms work Monday to Friday... that's a shocker).

If, on the other hand, you are planning to have the ceremony outdoors or if you want to get married on a weekend at a ceremony / reception site (say, winery or a restaurant) that does not have a wedding officiant onsite, you have a few other options:

  1. Get the ceremony officiant to come to you

    Some judges or justices will perform the ceremony outside the courtroom for a hefty fee of a few hundred dollars (the exact amount will depend on factors such as the location of the ceremony, date, time, etc.). Most ministers would be happy to do it for free, but will expect a small donation for the church. How small? Neither we at, nor most of the brides here on the site can't seem to agree on a specific price :)

    Unfortunately, this may not be an option at all for you in case you are no strongly affiliated with a particular religion or because many mainstream religions only allow for marriage ceremonies to take place inside a religious building (churches, temples, etc.).

  2. Get one of your friends to perform the wedding ceremony

    There have been a lot of discussions and speculations on this, and we cannot really vouch for legal aspects of this (ie, consult an attorney), but a number of brides report in the post-wedding surveys using this option and this option having worked out for them. So here it goes anyway.

    Believe it or not, these days you can apparently become a minister in a matter of a few minutes by getting ordained online. For example, will help you legally become an ordained minister in just a few short clicks (and at no charge). A growing number of people have already become religious affiliates with the exact purpose of performing a wedding ceremony for their friends. It's possible one of your friends is already a minister, so ask around!

    If not, think of a responsible close friend you would like to have as your ceremony officiant and ask of they would agree to perform the ceremony. You can provide them with a sample text for the ceremony - put it together to be completely personal and tailored or searching online for the generic wedding ceremony text.

    As far as the words spoken during the ceremony, the only legal requirement is that both bride and groom assent or confirm (in the physical presence of the officiant and at least two attending witnesses) that they take each other to be husband and wife. Yes, turns out that the famous "I do" is actually a requirement by law, not a matter of romance. Other than that, the officiant is free to say whatever they like, just like the happy couple can recite any wedding vows they want.

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